Heroism: Needles, Thread and Guild–I Will Survive

Being a yearbook editor wasn’t supposed to take over my life.  It wasn’t supposed to consume my time and take me away from the activities and people I’ve grown to enjoy.  It wasn’t supposed to completely disrupt my class schedule—but, it did.  So, I am no longer in the AP Literature class, as I need to dedicate time to making the yearbook and ensuring that the staff doesn’t fall behind.  Writing is still my love though, and I must still write in my new English class…for these reasons, this blog will not cease to exist.  Thanks for understanding the chance, and please follow my blog if you’d like…below is an essay on heroism that I wrote recently. =]
“Oh while I live, to be the ruler of life, not a slave, to meet life as a powerful conqueror, and nothing exterior to me will ever take command of me” (Walt Whitman).  Dominated by word, line and story, beheld through the eyes of musical combinations and instrumentation, and characterized by an endless supply of emotion, life is a continuous battle to maintain control or regain it when lost.  Vivid dreams, technicolor rainbows, and brilliant splashes of color, the world veils itself, waiting to be undone in a different manner by each worldly individual.  Chilling yet intoxicating winter winds, stifling summer heat, and fall rain which beats unto structures as if a monsoon were possible in the midst of the suburbs; rich scents that numb the mind to all else, making reality nonexistent; high notes and low chords sung to detail the continuing float of the boat of life which has already set sail.  Control and the senses go hand in hand; though, how is one to take hold of the sensory reins and lead one’s own life?  With a magnificent and endless war waging between control, sight, hearing, feeling, touch and scent, the struggle to become one’s own hero can be found.   A modern day priestess of rhyme, a young apprentice of artistic design, and a secret knight striving to beat the foe that is hopelessness, confusion and the invisible enemy known as regret—life is a battle, and I choose to fight in every form I hold.      
Cowardly is the way of those who give up before a proper chance has been taken, who seek refuge in lies, and who hide behind fear in every part of their lives. English and writing has always seemed to come relatively easy to my fingertips, flowing like water and taking shape in the creases of papers without my knowledge.  Within lines of words, however, lies the opportunity for untruths, lies and dishonesty, whether planned or not.  In order to be a hero of one’s own life, it is absolutely necessary to hold to absolute honesty; absolute trust of one’s self and others.  Perhaps the world is harsh at times, and reality kills to the core, but there is no excuse for dishonesty with others and especially with one’s self.  Heroes are heroes because they possess a certain and unusual degree of selflessness; however, aside from that selflessness, a hero must be aware of their own needs, desires, and feelings, lest they risk falling victim to them rather than pursuing them individually.  I know that my love lies within these lines of word and phrase, combined and entwined to speak the world to the reader in the most unique of ways.  I know that my love lies in literature and the culture that is English art.  I know that my love lies…and I must be the one to write the truth from henceforth. 
Graphic illustration, web designer, computer programmer, studio artist, literary studies or creative writing teacher and numerous other titles have accompanied the recent hours I have spent dreaming of the future.  The future is indefinable, however, and even I, my own hero, must realize such truth.  The future is the world we strive toward, a blind goal and a desperate and unending struggle—in order to be a true hero, one must learn that though tomorrow is uncertain, it is necessary to reach for it and push for it until tomorrow becomes today, and today the past.  The choice of a future job path is a simple one compared to every moral and personal decision humans make everyday—to lie or tell truths, to live or die, and to kill or be killed in such a savage world as this.  Heroism is more than a journey to save someone or something, it is the pursuit of what is right, what is moral and what is best.  In high school and college, heroism can be shown in the simplest of ways…choosing not to drink and instead acting as a designated driver, working hard on a paper rather than cheating or stealing another’s, or even simply helping those in need rather than leaving them for worse conditions and situations.
Emotion is the very fuel of life; the lifeblood of existence and the breath of the lungs of the living.  In a world filled with uncontrollable hate, unknown sorrow, deep devastation, bouts of depression, bursts of happiness, and laughter that floats through the air on the wings of birds, self preservation is a must.  A true hero is able to control their own life, as well as aid others in gaining control of theirs. Emotions fluctuate at a moments’ notice and can consume the possessor; however, a true hero can control these emotions and overcome them by sheer force of will and faith in better days.  In Greek mythology and other tales of old, the knight, god, or goddess exemplified heroism…strong, understanding, caring, selfless, powerful and a natural leader; yet, as in most areas of life, one size does not fit all.  Heroism does not mean precisely these characteristics—it’s a certain sense of right and wrong, and a personal will that is strong enough to fight for the just and the deserved, regardless of emotions that play like tapes in the background, persuading lesser men and women to sway from the path of righteousness and truth.  The power of tears dripping silently onto a page, the screaming wrath that pleads for justice and the quiet hurt of self-loathing and depression…battles occur in and out of doors, and in and out of the mind—a true hero will always come out on top, whether physically or only in state of mind.  I will never allow reality to overcome my dreams.
“Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes” (Benjamin Disraeli).  The planets rotate on their axis, suns moving ever-so-slowly in pursuit, shedding light into the darkest corners, and leaving others to wait in deep black lands…the world moves on, regardless of who claims the title of “hero.”  Defined not by words but by actions, heroism is realizing the craving in the heart for that which is right and going to every length to fight to achieve it.  Heroism is doing what is right…even when it hurts.  Heroism is learning to push the hurt aside.  Heroism is.    

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